You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
