love makes seman taste better
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
