I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
