Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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