She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
