I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize