We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
