She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
