My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
