My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
