I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
