I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dignity is for republicans.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
