Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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