dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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