It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize