Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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