Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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