I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
