just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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