Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
