dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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