hotel room ftw
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
