Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
