I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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