Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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