Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
