i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
