fuck your aforementioned shoe
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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