when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
