PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
