I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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