Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
