I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
