Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
