there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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