You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize