i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
