i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
