whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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