Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
