What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
