Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
