dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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