Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
this just has baby written all over it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
