THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
