i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
