Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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