sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
