just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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