I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
