But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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