so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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