so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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