Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
