I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize