a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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