got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
