So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
