why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
